The Bitersweet End of Summer

As I enjoy these last precious moments of summer, I am two places at once. I am here, in the present, walking the beach with Little-Sir-3-Year-Old and DH, seeing things fresh and new for the first time...watching as they enjoy the seagulls, or play catch in the water.

But I am also in the past, re-living similar precious moments. I remember building sandcastles with Number-One-Son and DD (Dear Daughter), and our friends Lois and Christopher...swimming with my mom when she was still healthy enough to brave the breakers, initially with the kids in life jackets, just in case one slipped out of our grip...boating in my dad's pride and joy, a 30 foot Silverton...fishing on Shinnecock Canal. And even farther back, I am with my grandfather in the boat he built himself, out clamming for the day, sometimes with my grandmother, but more often, just we two. Those precious memories are more alive when I am at the beach. One memory just flows into another.

But the present beckons me autumn-ward, with the beginning of a new school term, and apple picking, and pumpkin picking ahead, and all the joys that that season brings. But summer is still here, just for a little while longer. 'Til the bittersweet end.

Happy memories, all!
j-m


The Bittersweet End of Summer

Remember the "Freshman 15"? (or 20 or 30?) Supposedly this refers to the weight college freshman can gain, being so buried under schoolwork they neglect sports and exercise. They are eating at the cafeteria, or cheapo fast food, and maybe drinking lots of calories, too.

Well, the college years have had a strange sort of boomerang effect on me. At the ripe old age of 40, I decided to go back to add some more letters after my name. This change in my routine, adding a full-time class-load to my already full life of being a teacher and a mom (my youngest was only 3 months old when I went back) meant altering my life to a very sedentary existence. For 3 years, now, I have had this routine: SIT in the car and drive to school, walk to class, SIT in class after class after class, walk to the car, SIT as I drive, SIT at work, SIT as I drive home, briefly run around the house being Mom, then when everybody's tucked in bed for the night, SIT at the computer and do homework. I see a pattern developing here. Sit, sit, and more sit. Yeah. Hence, the baby weight I was able to avoid in my last pregnancy has padded me all over, making me very very unhappy with the new look.

I've successfully added a new set of letters after my name, and am currently working to add another set. And this summer I have made a concerted effort to lose the Freshman 30 (ouch). Well, after one briefly successful week of walk/jog/run routines in the early a.m., I hurt my foot so badly I could barely walk (making it very difficult to get to classes.) The scale barely budged. Throughout the summer, I've tried a variety of videos from the library: Pilates, Yoga, Tae-Bo, even belly-dancing. (that one was fun!) Today, joy of all joys, the scale says I've lost 7 pounds.

Now, comes one of the many Extreme Unfairnesses in the Universe. Why is it that one lovely Haagen Dazs dark chocolate ice cream pop can make me gain 5 lbs., but it takes a whole summer of boot camp, eating lots and lots of veggies, denying myself such normalties as semolina bread at dinner (one of DH's staple foods)...and I only lose 7 lbs.??? It seems that the physical and mental effort should be fairly equated with the downward motion of the numbers on the scale. But, apparently, the human body has this built-in survival mechanism that prevents us from losing too fast, going into starvation mode. I keep trying to explain to my body that I'm not trying to starve myself to death...only to get back to the prepregnancy shape and size (and then we'll negotiate for smaller numbers.) My body is not listening.

One day, I hope to have it all together: the career, nice house, happy family, AND my ideal body (my vision is pretty realistic for a 44-year-old.) For now, I'll keep doing the videos (now I have one dancing with Paula Abdul...go figure!) I'll enjoy the plentiful varieties of salad makings and fresh fish, and try to keep it all in balance. There is light at the end of the tunnel, and I'm trusting that it is not a train.

Healthy days!
j-m
posted by jean-marie at 5:49 PM 0 comments

I love this time of year. My summer session at school is finished, and there's a little break before September sesson starts. I go into mega-cooking mode, reminiscent of my grandmother. Maybe it's guilt-driven in part, because when the semester is in full swing, I'm so bogged down with my work schedule and school schedule, that much of home time is spent doing homework. I do cook for my family, and DH cooks too, but not that great stuff that needs that elusive element ...Time. So, for this brief two weeks, I become a regular at the farm stand down the street, looking for just the right ingredients for my creations.

Since tomatoes are in such abundance now, I got inspired by a big basket of seconds, nicknamed "silly tomatoes," by Cheryl, the proprietor. As I hate going to the supermarket, I try getting as many ingredients as possible from either the local farm or fish market. Cheryl happened to also have some really nice topnecks, which
were just calling to me. Happily, I trucked it all home, with the various other goodies, and made a pot of chowder. Now, I've never made soup with fresh tomatoes before, and I wasn't quite sure how it'd work out. I've always used tomato paste or stewed tomatoes, which always have that can-taste residue. Well, my chowder was an absolute success. DH was thrilled with it, showering me with compliments even rare for him, such as, "This is better than any restaurant's!" and told me to be sure to write down whatever I'd just done. Encouraged by this success, followed by other glowing comments from Number-One-Son, I decided to keep the ball rolling. I've been experimenting with other fresh-tomato-based soups and chowders, using shrimp, eggplant, corn, various herbs, and any other inviting ingredients at hand.

Yes, for a few weeks my family will eat extraordinarily well, my budget will be happy (as this cooking actually costs less than the throw-it-together-quick meals that have to do during semester's crush,) and I am relaxed and humming in my domestic therapy sessions. It is the bittersweet end of summer that affords me this great luxury, with Nature's Bounty bursting with delicious selections, and precious time, for the moment, on my side.

Let's enjoy what's left of this season, which is suddenly delightfully cool. The dreaded menace of school looms ahead, with all it's demands, and freedom must be held at bay again, for awhile
posted by jean-marie at 12:12 PM 0 comments

Saturday, August 19, 2006
Sometimes I think there really is a Big Conspiracy of sorts out there.
To those who know me well, it is no secret that I love fireworks. When I see them, I get all excited like a little kid again, and sometimes I get all choked up. I remember seeing them at Disney when my oldest was about 5, and they had this incredible laser show, coordinated with music. It was amazing. Then, we went to Sea World, and they had beautiful fireworks, too, just it was part of some stupid comedy show that really just took away from the fireworks...fireworks don't need any fluff (except, maybe a little music)...they are, after all, Fireworks!

So, now my littlest son is 3, and I've been wanting to take him to see fireworks. Last year, he was really too young, and cried when we saw them at Riverhead Raceway (not on the grounds, but from a street nearby...still very loud!) This summer, every
time I find where there will be fireworks, something happens. Every stinking time.

The best was the Fourth of July. Riverhead had one of their waterfront festivals going on, and DH (Dear Husband) and I had it all planned: we had chairs, a blanket, changes of clothes, food, the works. We found a good parking space around 6pm, and prepared to settle in, enjoying the rest of the fair until the fireworks started. Last minute, after we parked, DH says, "We should really put a diaper on him. (he is potty trained, but wears one at night, just in case.) We don't know what the bathroon situation will be like, so just in case, he's covered." (no pun intended.) So, I had him lay across my lap to put the diaper on, and noticed this little tiny black speck near his scrotum. Dirt, right? Went to flick it off, but it wouldn't flick. Turned out to be a deer tick. Great. Tried to remove it, but no way. Now, Little Sir 3-Year-Old is screaming. DH says, "Let's just take him to the ER...they have tools to get it off right away, 1-2-3, and it won't hurt like this. Maybe they'll give him an antibiotic, just in case." Ok. So, off we went to the hospital-formerly-known-as-Central-Suffolk. They did have this amazing set of needle-nosed tweezers and got it off 1-2-3, and sent us off with a list of instructions about what symptoms to watch out for with tick-borne diseases. Apparently they don't do preventive-measure antibiotics any more, just in case.

Because we were one of many families there with holiday-related injuries, we had had to wait quite a while before being seen, so by the time we got out, it was dark and we could see the tail end of the fireworks as we drove toward the waterfront. "See them? See them?" I cried excitedly. Little Sir 3-year-old couldn't see from the backseat. By the time we got near the light at the end of Roanoke, it was all over.
So, tonight, I was preparing some fried red peppers, when I hear this racket outside. No! It can't be! I ran out to the deck, and yes, through the trees I could see fireworks! Yay! I yelled for DH (who, by now, really does think I am crazy), "Are you coming?" and out the door I went, in my pj's, DH's flipflops (which are way too big), grabbed the little boy, also in pj's, and flew to the site.
Yes! We saw them them. For all of about 30 seconds. Finally. Fireworks.
Then it stopped. "Is it over?" asked Little Sir 3-year-old. "No more boom boom?"
"No," I answered. The Big Conspiracy reigns.
But, there is a silver lining. I looked on the internet, and Riverhead Raceway is having fireworks next Saturday. Maybe, just maybe, this time, The Almighty will hold back the rain, and hail, and locusts, and any other deterrent that might try to stand in the way, and DH, Little Sir 3-year-old, and I will finally get to see our fireworks together.
posted by jean-marie at 7:37 PM 0 comments

The Bittersweet End

Those last days at the beach are always the saddest. You think of all the lost opportunites when you could've been here, but got bogged down with housework (like cleaning out a closet on a gorgeous day is wise time-management.)

For some reason, those last days are when you find the best seashells, the waves are perfect, the water temperature is just right, it's not too windy, the jellyfish aren't around, and even the clouds seem extra special. The kids don't realize their golden moments are numbered, and soon it'll be too cold for this. Not that I ever stay away from the beach...actually, I love walking on the beach on a mild winter day. But it's not the same.

The beach at the end of summer has its own special magic. The water is a different color than it is in May, and all the Nature-debris (seaweed, old horse-shoe crab shells...) is cleared away. The air smells sweeter, with that briny tang, and there's this feeling of mellow I can't find anywhere else.

I just want to back-float forever, hearing the sounds under the sea clearer than the sounds above it, just relaxing in the moment. I want to go snorkelling and find a scallop bed somewhere, their blue eyes more beautiful than any sapphire. I want to paddle around with my 3-year-old, forgetting about all the stresses of life, just being us on a beautiful summer's day.

The bittersweet end of summer is here, and I want to hold onto it forever, but
it's like trying to hold a cupful of water in your hands. It just slips through your fingers and is gone.
posted by jean-marie at 7:37 PM 0 comments

Friday, August 18, 2006
The Bittersweet End of Summer

After the blistering heat, which my car kept telling me was over 100 degrees, this unexpectedly delightful cooler snap is almost invigorating. I love that I've had to break out the blankets again to sleep at night, and that we're not running the a.c. any more. I really don't like air conditioning. I like not sweating and being miserable, but it always gives me a sore throat for some reason.

When I was a kid, my parents went and splurged and got an a.c. for their bedroom. Of course, it didn't cool the whole house, so they kept the door shut, and when it was too hot to sleep, I'd bring my mattress into their room to sleep. When I slipped between the cool sheets, it felt wonderful, but I always woke up feeling like I had a cold the next morning...backache, sniffly, sore throat. Why is that?

I'm sure summer has more heat in store for us, and I'm glad. It seems to be slipping away much too quickly. My daughter is going back to college in Fla., and that's bittersweet. I love the time we've had this summer, tho' it wasn't enough, with work schedules and everything, but it was really nice having her here. She's growing up, and is more of a pal, now. But, in a way, I'm glad she's going back, too. We'll all miss her, especially my little guy, who adores her, but her life is more there now, than here. She has a new circle of friends, her own little niche. She's been very successful, academically, and seems (I hope, I hope) to be making good connections, career-wise, for later.

I'm glad summer's gonna hang around a bit longer, and really hoping the Almighty will grace us with a nice long Indian summer. My old friend, Janet, is coming back for a visit soon, and I hope to have some nice leisurely mornings at the beach with her, away from responsibilities, to just catch up. When a really good friend moves away, something just doesn't seem right any more. Talking on the phone's ok, but not the same as sitting in the kitchen with a bottomless pot of tea. I miss strawberry picking with her, musseling with her, taking the kids to the beach together, camping on the beach and waking up to the sound of the breakers at Smith's Point...stuff I never shared with anybody else, 'cause they just weren't into that stuff.
Yeah...I'm glad summer's still here for a little while. I need to enjoy it just a little bit longer.

Happy sunshine.
jean-marie
posted by jean-marie at 9:30 PM 1 comments