I was reminded of LunaChick's entry about vacuuming out the inside of the vacuum (after removing the bag...) when I accidentally lit myself on fire. I had just taken my early a.m. shower, and was wrapped in my new robe from Turkey that my sister-in-law gave me. It's thick terrycloth, wonderfully soft and cuddly and absorbent (hence the term "Turkish towel.") Tiptoeing around the house, so as not to awaken DH or Little-Sir-3-Year-Old (and have more time to do schoolwork in peace and quiet,) I was being extra careful about unnecessary noise.
Our gas stove has an electric self-ignite (you know, the click-click-click-whoosh of flame), but sometimes, when I clean around the burners, it doesn't work so well for a day or so and needs a match to get it started. We have a box of kitchen safety matches, but they're almost all gone, and I couldn't find them in the store. DH brought home some cheapy ones from the gas station to tie us over. Now, I've had a problem with these cheapy ones before...they are hard to strike, and sometimes, because I press so hard, the sulphur-topped tip comes off when it ignites, flying like a tiny burning meteor. Once before, one of those little meteors hit my neck and burned me. So, Miss Brilliant Mind that I am, I knew that this could happen, and the "Little Voice" in my head said, "don't use the cheapy ones, use a safety match." But the Miss Stubborn Cheapskate side of me said, "No, they're almost all gone, and I have to save them." (for what???)
Very, very quietly I filled the teakettle with water, set it on the stove, took out my teacup and sugar bowl, reached for the cheapy matches and struck one. I promptly went up in flames. The tiny flying meteor must've hit the robe (which was damp, fortunately), and fast-as-lightning, the top layer of little terrycloth loops were burning all down my front. I quickly patted them out, then heard a "whoosh" down my back, and realized the back was on fire, too. I took off the robe, wrapped it up, extinguished it, and threw it in the shower to wet it thoroughly (all in my naked glory in my budget-conscious-low-temperatured house...thank goodness Number One Son wasn't home to see...)
I was mildly shaking, thanking God that I didn't have to be rushed to the hospital with awful burns. I was mourning my beautiful yellow robe, which now has an over-layer of dark brown where the loops have been burned off, and a small hole in the back that's black around the edges.
And then it hit me.
I've done this before.
sigh
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5 comments:
now THAT'S funny!
well not THAT FUNNY... i am glad you are ok....
but it is funny that you have done it before.
it is funny.
When I was a kid, it's the kind of thing my family would call "being a Pollack"...Grandma's side of the family is Polish, so that was their knock on themselves.
A friend of mine would call it "Mental Pause"...(not that I'm ready for THAT yet, either!)
Mental pause... HA! I will have to mention that to my mom.
Skimming through your story again reminds me of when my brother and I decided to try a Mr. Wizard science experiment. We wrote a secret message on white paper ("this is a secret") with lemon juice and then... in theory of course... when you place a candle under the paper (at a safe distance) the message would appear.
Ummm... yeah ok. At 8 and 10 you can imagine how we almost burned the house down! FUNNY now... but not so funny then. We freaked out!
PS. my mom DOESNT know about that little story... and I'd like to keep it that way :::: wink ::: HA!
While I, on the other hand, Angel Child that I was, snuck one of my father's unfiltered Camels and hid in a pile of dry leaves to try smoking. Imagine what a tragedy THAT could've been! (fortunately, I just about gagged, and the experiment was quickly over.) And I will NOT be sharing that information with him, either.
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