To celebrate a successful beginning of the holiday season, I have decided to allow myself an urge to eat something off my diet...it's still healthy, just not in the normally-allotted caloric content for the a.m. for me. I've decided to have pie for breakfast. Maybe I won't eat the crust...I don't really like that part anyway. But pumpkin pie filling, or maybe apple, seems just about right for the Sunday-after-Thanksgiving Day- breakfast.

Mmmm.

DH and I got adventurous and tried something new this year: "Midnight Madness" at Tanger Outlet Center on Thanksgiving night. I never thought he'd be interested in shopping at midnight, after having worked all day, but he was game, so off we went..
yeah...us and thousands of other people.

DH had said, "They're gonna laugh at us...nobody's gonna be there!" But as we approached the end of River Road, we could see the cars backed all the way up to the Expressway, at 11:30 pm, just waiting to get in. Then, once inside, there were long lines at many of the stores, and at the mall office...and nowhere to park. By the time we finally gave up, and tried to come home, we couldn't get out! It was a little panic-making for a moment there. (Makes you wonder what would happen in case of a fire or something...could that place empty out quickly???)

But,it's good to try new things, and it was another bonding time for DH and I. We don't often get to do things just the 2 of us (well, just the 2 of us and all the other shoppers!) I guess that's the trick...do something together from 11:30 pm- 2 a.m. And then sleep in the next morning. Now if only I could manage our schedule that way...

Today is Thanksgiving, and as tradition demands, I am reflecting on what I am most thankful for.

First, I am thankful for my personal spiritual life, a non-religious form of Christianity. I know some people whose beliefs are close to mine, but not exactly the same. My faith in God has sustained me through some really horrible events in the past few years. Some call religion a crutch, I say my belief in God and my very real, very tangible sense of who I am and where I can go in time of need is the way I live every day. I don't think I could have gotten through the bad stuff without this constant meditation going on, this constant prayer under the surface, this sense of worship that I can fully enter into at any given moment.

Secondly, I am thankful for my DH. He is my soulmate, and came into my life at a time when I thought there wasn't one for me in the whole world. He drives me crazy, and teases too much, and has some flaws that I'm praying God will change, but with all that, He is "The One." He understands things about me that no one else ever even saw. He can read my mind, and verbalize my deepest emotions that I cannot put into words myself. He is home.

Thirdly, I am thankful for my three children. There's Number One Son, who would probably be a very close friend of mine if we weren't related, and we were age peers. He and I share so much, have so much in common, and even those things he really likes (like some of his music) that aren't my personal cup of tea, I can truly appreciate. Then there's DD, who would also probably be a very close friend, under the same circumstances. We have different things in common than her older brother and I, but nonetheless, we speak from the same heart, and I can appreciate the areas where her tastes and desires are not the same as my own. Finally, there's Little-Sir-3-Year-Old, who keeps me laughing with his antics and his little turns of a phrase. I am looking to forward to growing in friendship with him as well, as he gets older. I am very blessed with these three.

Fourthly, I am thankful for my father, the only one left of the older generations for me. The older I get, the more I appreciate him, and the more I am aware of the frailty of life, and what a precious, fleeting gift it is.

Fifthly, I am thankful that God has directed me toward a new career. It came as a surprise to me, when I thought I was going in a different direction. This one seems right, and as soon as I'm done with this particular degree, we'll see if the fit is as good as it seems.

I am thankful to be healthy, to live in a rural area with the beaches and the farms, and to have the opportunities I've had. I'm thankful for old friends and new friends, music to immerse myself in, good books and movies, travel opportunities,and so much more. I am thankful to God, and to all of those who have blessed my life just by touching it.

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!

It's been so long since I've written in this blog. I don't exactly have writer's block, it's just that I don't want to keep beating the same drum, writing about death, politics, and wanting to hold onto time, or at least not let it slip through my fingers so fast.

Well, for lack of a good positive launching-thought, I've been peeved lately by the increased commercialism of the Holidays (they started with the Holiday music on the radio this weekend, for Pete's sake! It's not even Thanksgiving yet!!!) The Christmas decorations and greeting cards went on sale with the back-to-school stuff this year...or we pushing it, or what? I think over-merchandising diminishes what is special about these days we hold dear, just becoming another money-mill to line the pockets of opportunists.

I don't have cable, so that I can control what comes into this house via that form of media (my DH has the European channels on the satellite dish so he can get his world soccer.) I hate the commercials the plague channels geared toward kids, so that they are programmed for gimme-gimme-gimme...things that are for the most part useless, and a waste of money. So many of these toys lose their fascination after 15 minutes.

So, while Little-Sir-3-Year-Old is still little, we'll get our weekly t.v. fix by borrowing videos and DVDs from the public library...without commercials! This way, I can expose him to programs that I think are of value, without worrying about the crap in between.

So...along those lines, has anyone else discovered "Little Bill"? Based on a character created by Bill Cosby, this little cartoon is wonderful. I love it. I love the message, I love the graphics, I love the way racism is handled (or not handled...) We've only begun to discover "Little Bill", and we look forward to getting more episodes on DVD. I've always loved Cosby, since I was a little girl and my parents used to play his albums. (Is anyone out there old enough to remember the "Noah" routine? Or the stories of Cosby's children as babies? Or the ones about his brother Russell? I remember laughing so hard, I cried...and they still effect me the same way.)

Anyway...don't mean to sound so negative all the time, but I'm trying to raise a non-materialistic, non-self-centered child in a world that seems to be fighting me tooth and nail. If anyone out there has any ideas of good books, video/DVDs, programs, etc. to foster mental/academic/social health, I'm all ears.

I just read Nancy's blog about the memorial service. I am thinking this fall is symbolic in my life, as my very dear adopted mother is really struggling with her battle against cancer, and my best friend's father-in-law just died. Today I had a voicemail from another friend, having to cancel a date because her mom suddenly went in for open-heart surgery.

I have this picture of my dear Carole (the mom) by my computer, and I feel like crying every time I see it. It's of the two of us, looking so happy, holding my little son together when he was a few weeks old. That picture is so full of LIFE! And now, the leaves are turning brown, and falling all over, and I keep seeing funeral processions heading to Calverton, and I can't stand it...I don't want to think of this for Carole, or my dad, or my husband's aging relatives...
and then, there are the unexpected deaths, like the boy in Wading River who just committed suicide (there's a lot of that going on in that school. What is it over there? Something in the water, like the nest of breast cancer in Shoreham???)

I know death is a part of life, and all the religious and non-religious sentiments connected to it. But for me, I just don't want to deal with this. I just want LIFE.

Election Day is looming ever nearer, and I'm scared. I've been trying to be an educated voter, read the right stuff, listen to NPR (which seems to cover CT politics), wade through the email I've gotten from different interest groups. There's one that piqued my interest...a mainly women's group, VotersForPeace...but one-issue groups often stand behind a candidate who's bad on other issues. There's so much going on now, locally and beyond. I wish I could just get a CLEAR picture of who are the good guys and who are the bad guys. Anyone missing a white hat?

I am reading a book I picked up in the library while just browsing, called Music Lessons: Guide Your Child to Play a Musical Instrument. As I am a music teacher, who teaches privately, I like to know what's being said about us. I also read these parents' books from time to time to pick up parenting tips. Anyway, I think this is a very good read for parents. I wish I had had it years ago to give copies of to all my students' parents.

I've often wondered why some students are very successful, some moderately so, and some, sadly, give up before they have a chance to shine. What is the formula? I've thought it was something like,
1. First, a desire within the child to create music.
2. The right teacher - warm, enthusiastic about music in general, flexible to different student learning styles, open to different methods and genres of music, skilled in the area of instruction.
3. Encouraging parents who provide, and insist upon, regular practice time in a quiet environment conducive to good concentration...mixed with a generous dollop of praise for sincere efforts.

Yet, sometimes, I've had students with seemingly all of the above, and they lose interest over time, even after fantastic success, and fizzle out. Others doggedly plod on through the years with little or no inspiration, and continue through high school graduation. Why do these lack the success that seems inevitable?

And my idea of success is not necessarily performance at Carnegie Hall. My idea of success is a lifelong love of learning, of developing skill, tastes, and perhaps venturing into new instruments and areas of musical expression.

In reading this book I am hoping to find a key that may have been missing for me. I want 100% of my students to be successful, and anything less feels like failure to me, personally.

And, on another personal note, Little-Sir-3-Year-Old has a hereditary love for music, and begs to play all the instruments he sees. About a month ago, I introduced him to his sister's old violin, thinking he'd play around for a few minutes, then lose interest and go back to his trucks and toy horses. Even tho' it's too big for him, he instinctively holds the bow correctly, and positions the violin quite well. He'll take 30 min. or so of mini lessons from me, and often will take the instrument out 4 or 5 times in one day. He's thrilled whenever I suggest it, and the promise of it will instantly snap him out of a cranky moment. I bought him a harmonica recently, too, so he can have his expression any time he likes, whether I'm home or not (he's not allowed to play the violin unless I or his sister are home to supervise. Respect for the instrument must be taught young.) Tonight, it was just the two of us home, so I put on Handel's Messiah full-blast, got out my flute, and the violin, and we had a joyous hour playing along. Of course he can't read notes yet, but the violin is tuned so that any string he plays won't sound off pitch with our selections.

I'm going to keep reading this book, and hopefully, with this little one, I'll get the formula just right.

Sometimes life has very odd coincidences.

The last time I tried to enter a blog, I wasn't feeling very well. I sort of had that feeling one gets when a virus is brewing...like a cloud is settling over, and
the aches that precede the other symptoms begin. I was typing out some very deeply-felt ideas about life, and what happens when a very dear friend is battling cancer.

And then the whole screen went blue, and a series of events ensued that were the result of multiple viruses attacking my computer. And then, I manifested the stomache virus that had been brewing.

Now, how does this happen? I know viruses are contagious, but this is a bit of a reach, even for me.

Now, after an interesting session yesterday with a very nice Dell tech. in India, the computer is happily functioning again, and I crawled out of bed this morning, feeling more like myself than I have in days.

Hmmm.